A recent disagreement I had with a colleague at
work had to do with her having very little confidence in herself. She
would often put herself down with negative self talk when working with
the children, and when I confronted her she was embarrassed and angry
that she was called out.
To help to resolve the conflict more
productively we could have used two of the basic ideals of the center
for nonviolent communication vision statement. We could have used the
ideal that "every individual embraces self compassion," if she would
have compassion for herself she could forgive herself for the mistakes
she makes and not be so critical of herself. We could also use the
ideal that "people joyfully and compassionately contribute to each other
and resolve conflicts peacefully." If we both came to the table with
this basic premise the whole conversation could have been approached and
resolved joyfully and peacefully.
How would you deal with this
situation?
Sometimes when are dealing with people with low self esteem we should try to redirect their negative thought process by being more supportive. We should try focusing on their strengths first before putting them down.
ReplyDeleteStephanie,
ReplyDeleteConfrontation is always difficult and risky. Although your co-worker was not receptive of your perception of her at first, I am sure that after she has time to process your constructive feedback, she will begin to make steps to improve her self-image.