Adjourning

As I look back on my adult life I can see many times when I was asked to work in a group.  When I think of the adjourning phase it is difficult to remember how each unique group finished.  It seems that many simply disbanded with no clear end or finally.  The most difficult group for me to leave was the first staff I worked with when I came to Head Start.  This group wasn't the most high-performing group I was a part of, and I didn't have too much in common with each of the members.  However we had come to know each other by working closely with each other everyday.  We worked through a lot of change and helped each other overcome some difficult circumstances.  When it came time for us to go our separate ways we said farewell with a simple luncheon, and that was it.  Many of the groups I have worked with end in this way, and I wish there was more of a recap of sorts.  A way to gauge what was done and how well the group stayed true to its purpose.  As for the group of colleagues I have become a part of through this master's degree; I'm not sure how this will adjourn.  It is certainly different from my cohort group for my undergrad degree.  What end could it have?  I just can't imagine it yet.  Adjourning is essential because it brings the work full circle.  From the beginning to the end it brings closure and makes progress on the goals that were set out in the early stages.  

Conflict Resolution

A recent disagreement I had with a colleague at work had to do with her having very little confidence in herself.  She would often put herself down with negative self talk when working with the children, and when I confronted her she was embarrassed and angry that she was called out.  

To help to resolve the conflict more productively we could have used two of the basic ideals of the center for nonviolent communication vision statement.  We could have used the ideal that "every individual embraces self compassion," if she would have compassion for herself she could forgive herself for the mistakes she makes and not be so critical of herself.  We could also use the ideal that "people joyfully and compassionately contribute to each other and resolve conflicts peacefully."  If we both came to the table with this basic premise the whole conversation could have been approached and resolved joyfully and peacefully.  

How would you deal with this situation?

Communication Quizzes

I have to begin by stating that using these quizzes was difficult for me.  I am out of work for the summer and stay at home with my daughter.  This means that I see one adult on a regular basis, my husband.  I thought I would be able to email these out to others to have them email back to me, but after trying all week to figure it out I had to resort to having my husband and mother-in-law fill them out, because they were the only two that were at my house that I could log them in to fill out. 

After saying that there weren’t many surprises in regards to how I see myself and how they do.  We are all very close, and so the know how I am.  The insight I saw from these quizzes was that these quizzes weren’t too clear in describing the person that it is being said about.  There were too bipolar in the questions.  I think this tells me professionally that communication is important, and not everyone sees it in the same way as I do.

Communication Accommodation Theory

When I communicate with different people I use different communication strategies.  In fact communication accommodation theory “suggests that all people adapt their behavior to others to some extent” (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 112). 

Some examples of this change in communication strategies are; if speaking to a child I adjust my vocabulary so I can be understood.  When talking with other professionals I use jargon they understand, but wouldn’t use the same language when talking with a family new to our early childhood program.  Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond support this practice, “We are suggesting, rather, that you be aware of what your communication partner is doing and saying, especially if there are cultural differences between you, so that your message is understood and you don’t unwittingly offend the other person” (2011, p. 112). 

It is important that I develop a set of strategies to communicate with diverse people.  Some of those strategies include adapting my message due to information I know about the person, adapting based on what I perceive the other person to be thinking or feeling, or adapting based on my history with the person. 

Non-verbal Communication and Television Show

The show I decided to watch is Betas.  This is a new Amazon original television series.  I have never watched it or seen previews for it. 

The Sound Muted:

In the opening sequence the show introduces several characters in an office.  It zooms in on a few, and I am assuming that these are the main characters.  Character 1 is working on a computer and looking around at the other characters.  From his body language he seems annoyed, because he is being distracted while trying to get work done.  A little bit into the show two of the characters leave and get into a car.  They are talking to each other and appear to be friends.  They are talking in a carefree way with lots of smiles, laughing, and the occasional punch in the shoulder.  Both of these characters seem to be friendly and familiar.  Throughout the show it jumps around to different scenes, and this may be due to the fact that it is the pilot for the show and they are introducing several people.  It was difficult to determine communication between characters  as there were a lot of scenes with characters either alone or in a large group.  In the large group sequences the communication and body language was hard to decipher, as it changed and the camera jumped around a lot. 

What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

The Sound On:

I made many assumptions on this show that were incorrect.  I didn’t know that there was a narrator for the show, and he explained a lot about the premise of the show and the background of many of the characters.  This would have helped explain some of the exchanges as well as the relationships the characters had.  I assumed that the two characters I observed in the car with friends, however after listening to it with the sound I realized they were father and son.  This explained some of the touching, and the way the one character reacted to the others words.  I also confused annoyance with a person making a plan.  The facial expressions and body language seemed to be annoyance, but they were actually showing character 1 being devious. 

I made some incorrect assumptions, and some that were correct when watching this show on mute.  It is interesting to watch body language and facial expressions.  They are so easily confused without knowing what is going on.  Had I known the characters and the show I would have known their character.  What the character was about, who they related to, what their goals were, etc.  This would have helped me decipher their communication better. 

Competent Communication

When I think of a person I know that is a competent communicator I think of my husband.  I think one of the greatest strengths he has as a communicator is his ability to listen.  He is an active listener.  He nods his head, makes eye contact, turns his body when listening, and then when he speaks he is able to validate what I have said or someone else has said and then communicate what he wants to say.  Then, when he is actually communicating what he has to say he speaks clearly, concisely, and with a calm and even voice.  He speaks with his hands, but only enough to support his point, and convey positive body language.  I would like to work on how he changes his body language to convey a confident but approachable demeanor when speaking.  People respect what he has to say, because he presents it in such a way that it is hard to disagree.  I have some solid opinions, and if I can model his mode of communication I could get my point across more effectively.  

Diversity Looking Ahead

 

My one hope in working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is that I would be more sensitive to their culture.  That I can recognize my own biases and respond to the family in the ways that is acceptable to their culture.  

The goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is that the field would work to accept all children by recognizing the dominant culture as well as the many cultures of the world.  

Thank you all for the comments and the great blog posts.  It is always refreshing to see how passionate you all are about early childhood.